If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
It’s been a while since I’ve shared anything, mostly because I’m unsure of what to share anymore. I spend a lot of time sorting through some mental bullshit that I’ve been putting off for a bit - I don’t really want to bore folks with what I’m aware should not be such a big deal.
The human race never ceases to amaze me, it seems like. You’d think by now that I wouldn’t be so surprised at how people insist on treating the ones closest to them, yet I’m always a bit shocked and taken aback. Why? And how do those people sleep at night knowing what they’re doing? It’s wrong.
I’ve been struggling with the concept of what success is. And, really, what’s important? I think I’m smack in the middle of a generation of people that have strange ideas about things. Which is fine. I just happen to be a 25 year old single mom that still doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. Grayson just turned three, I always thought I’d have it figured out by now. Guess life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will. I’m afraid I’m going to spend the rest of my life wandering aimlessly, without purpose.
I’ve probably (definitely) watched one too many Nicholas Sparks movies because now I’m obsessed with this unrealistic idea of unrequited love and soulmates and all that ridiculous nonsense that he likes to fill the heads of puberty bound, emotionally unstable teenage girls with. What’s worse, is deep down I know that those movies are based on some modicum of truth. Someone, somewhere believes in - I can’t believe I’m about to say this - real love. Honest to God, gut wrenching, I can’t live without you, I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth before I let you go, love. Then again, maybe I’ve just played into that bullshit for so long that I can’t imagine it being any other way. Who knows?
I won’t lie, I started today with the intention of completely unloading all my bullshit onto the internet for some poor shmuck to happen upon and read by accident, and spend the rest of the evening with their brain in a cluster fuck like mine. Maybe later, though.
